There’s no easy way out. There’s no short cut home. But with God as my witness, I will get this weekend’s top film correct. Oh yes, let it be written, let it be done, shout it out from the mountain top. I’m out of hyperbole but you get the point.
5. Night at the Museum $5.1m
The executives on this project have got to be beside themselves. Not literally, which would be impossible, but figuratively they must be patting themselves on the back in a very big way. And who can blame them? A zillion dollars for a film that would have been destroyed in the summer months.
4. Smokin’ Aces $8.2m
They broke the cardinal rule of the movie business. You never drop a “g” in the title. Ever. For instance, Savin’ Private Ryan wouldn’t have worked at all.
3. Epic Movie $8.7m
Credit due, it vanquished me in a might big way. The only reason I’m not holding a grudge is the three-percent rating it’s sporting over at Rotten Tomatoes. Zowie!
2. The Messengers $10.3m
I don’t know when a good horror should be released, but I can tell you February isn’t ideal. A February release date says, “We give up, please don’t notice this film and bring it up the next time we have dinner together. That would be impolite.” It’s still going to make double digits, though, because the available theater content is a vapid, barren wasteland.
1. Because I Said So $15.4m
Clearly this is a terrible name for a movie, so cutesy as to almost be offensive. The good news is that Mandy Moore is in it. She’s cutesy, but not so much as to be offensive (at least not to me).
Check back with MaryAnn on Monday, she’s my lucky star.